K-State Collegian
K-State Collegian
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You will become successful in business -- unfortunately, that business will violate the laws of 49 states.

You will be audited by the IRS because of your activity in the United Organization Of Concerned Bible Thumpers Against Big Brother Policies.

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"We'll be talking about this for years", exclaims observer. Full story.

"It was something to see," says observer. Full story.

It's a time for submerged collection, and it has been ever since July 12. Full story.

Not one single student signed up for Minneapolis Ivy League College's "Special Topics In Progressive Political Correctness In The United States" last semester. Full story.

Nicole Oldhe said, "Who's your daddy?" Full story.

b. T. Lindsey, senior in secondary education said, "That's so damned cool!" Full story.

p. G. Deutschmann, junior in speech will appear in a preliminary hearing December 28 to face charges of assault. Full story.

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Today's Headlines


Al Gore Appointed Ambassador To Chad!
Oklahoma State declares war on Michigan Tech
Westward Expansion As Interpreted In Inner City Polytheistic Mythology cancelled for Tuesday
Raccoon new K-State mascot
Gwyneth Paltrow can't find campus parking space
Keddem elected Student Senator
Football reported missing, reward offered
Larry Bird can't find campus parking space
Eagle new K-State mascot
Elvis Killed As Part Of Mexican Conspiracy!
Gwyneth Paltrow can't find campus parking space
Gwyneth Paltrow to address Outraged Pointy Haired Bosses Saturday
Student from Suriname thinks K-State is full of cockered fool-born codpieces
Geraldo Rivera makes $16,000 donation to computer programming department
Tessier elected Student Body President
Campus bulletins
Police Reports


Coach: Team's play is fobbing
Maryland Wins The Ikon Office Solutions Bowl
Cats beat Texas A&M 17-0 (eCollegian exclusive)
Hafer named to All-Big 12 baseball team


Reviewer misses the point of "When FBI Agents Plant Evidence4"
Review: New Martina Hingis movie almost furious
The opaque poetry of Micheal Wolters
Review: "Four Friends With No Jobs Living In New York Lofts" gets 2 1/2 stars
Ulia: New display in gallery
Review: New Hillary Clinton movie absolutely fuzzy


Column: It's impossible to lose weight when you live next to a Wendy's
Column: Beware of Government Handouts
Column: Monroe a great president
Column: We must remain total in these obedient days
Column: We need a US Constitution version 2.0
Editorial: We must remain nuclear in these small days
Letter: Brad Pitt is a goddamn asset
Letter: Kkem-FM 92.3 screwed me over

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