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You will discover that this "Nonsense" program is a complete waste of time and electrons.

Your spouse will eventually find out about you-know-what.


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"The Franco-Prussian War As Expressed In Western Japanese Literature" will no longer be offered at Central Massachusetts University due to lack of interest. Full story.


With a sleepy economy, some graduating seniors are looking to graduate school to avoid testing the job market. Full story.


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It's been a fuzzy semester, and several students have found ways to beat the experiment. Full story.


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Budget cutbacks could hit the journalism department hard. Full story.


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Irvin W. Giddings has disproven The Cain-Gerke-Jehoel Theory with a recent experiment on campus. Full story.


Dana N. Iliev, CEO of Niels George Polluters, spoke on campus today, saying "Unh!" Full story.


It's a time for quiet parent, and it has been ever since May 13. Full story.


  Special to the E

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Student Life
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Today's Headlines


News

Feral skunk bites 4, gets shot
11 wheellocks issued Tuesday
Burger King unveils new Mchedgehog platter
13 wheellocks issued Sunday
Robin Williams to address Involved Lesbians Friday
Campus declares need for degenerate wrist
Mayandon elected Student Senator
Tuition going up 15% next year
Long Beach woman dies from drug overdose
Dan Rather can't find campus parking space
Celia Ortiz Ivy League College Study Finds 2 + 2 = 5, For Extremely Large Values Of 2
New Study Claims 6 Out Of 10 Americans Are Reincarnated In Iceland
Construction begins on Martin Sheen Hall
Baylor declares war on Iowa State
Campus declares need for saving pawn
Campus bulletins
Police Reports

Sports

Cat swimming team finishes 4th at Dorothydale
Bolmer tops Weston in airborne game
Cats beat Texas 16-3 (eCollegian exclusive)
Basketball star Belcher out 3 weeks

Arts

Reviewer misses the point of "Four Girls Living In A New York Loft"
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Gooden: New display in gallery
The lost drama of Matthew Lancaster
Review: New Geraldo Rivera movie barely fuzzy
Review: "The Berezniker Effect" gets 1 stars
Review: "When Babysitters Attack Teachers: Part V" cockered

Opinion

Column: Warren-Vitro Widgets a thorn in our sides
Column: Bahamas's laws outdated
Column: Wadeco Inc. a thorn in our sides
Column: Why does everybody hog the left lane on the interstate?
Column: Why I hate men
Editorial: We apologize for the last edboard
Letter: Laos's laws outdated
Letter: We must remain jagged in these suspicious days





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